During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
Before class today, cut apart the sentences at the end of this lesson. Fold the sentences and place them in a bowl.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1–2
Let your children’s families know that this week the children will learn not to bully themselves. Encourage family members to take turns saying positive things about themselves.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Welcome students to class. Ask if any of them practiced the changes suggested by the constructive criticism activity at the end of the last class. Congratulate any who began using those changes.
Recently we have been talking about the power of our words. We have learned about verbal abuse and constructive and negative criticism. It is good to use words carefully.
Teacher Tip: In this final lesson on the power of words, the children learn to encourage themselves even when they do not feel like it. They learn not to “bully” themselves in their self-talk. They learn to speak kindly to themselves like they would to others.
Listen to a Bible verse about words that you learned before:
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18
We will play a game about words. I will read a statement. If the statement is something that will hurt, act like you are stabbing with a sword. If the statement is something that will build someone up, pretend you are building a tower.
Good job picking out the hurtful statements. Those are all statements someone else may say to you. Those words hit your heart just like a bully hitting your body. Those words can hurt.
Today we will learn about the words we think about ourselves. Sometimes we can say mean things to ourselves. It is not okay for someone to bully others, and it is not okay for us to
bully ourselves!
Have the children sit down for the lesson.
Sometimes when you hear hurtful or abusive words often, you might start believing them. You might even say them to yourself. For example, if someone always tells you that you were lazy, you might start repeating that to yourself.
Answer quietly to yourself: do you usually speak words that are kind and encouraging or hurtful and negative to yourself?
God wants you to speak positive and helpful words to yourself. He loves you. You are special to Him. He does not want you to bully yourself! God speaks positive, encouraging words to you. It is important to say encouraging words to yourself too.
Start by paying attention to your thoughts. You may be surprised by how many thoughts you have about yourself every day! It is easy to say things to yourself such as “I cannot do it,” “There is no hope for me,” or “I am stupid.” But those are all negative words. If the words would be abusive or harmful if you said them to someone else, they are still hurtful if you say them
to yourself.
Let’s talk about some ways you can change some negative self-talk to positive self-talk. God wants what you say to yourself to agree with what He says about you. Listen to these verses about what God says about you. You have heard these verses before.
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Genesis 1:27
What does this verse say about you?
You are created in the image of God.
How you made me is amazing and wonderful. I praise you for that. What you have done is wonderful. I know that very well. … You planned how many days I would live. You wrote down the number of them in your book before I had lived through even one of them.
Psalm 139:14, 16 NIrV
What do these verses say about you?
You are made wonderfully and God knows about every day of our lives.
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Luke 12:6–7
What do these verses say about you?
God watches carefully over even little birds, and He values each person much more than that. He even knows the number of hairs on each person’s head.
Speaking positive things to yourself does not mean that you do not tell yourself the truth. For example, let’s say you made a mistake. If you were a bully to yourself, you might say, “I am so stupid.” If you tell yourself the truth, you might say, “I made a mistake. I can work harder so I do not make the same mistake again.” Listen to what God says about how we judge ourselves:
If you are using the Memory Verse Poster, show it to the students.
If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
1 John 3:20
What do these verses say about you?
Even when we are bullying ourselves, God knows everything. He is greater than what we tell ourselves. He always sees and knows the truth.
God always sees everything. He knows what the truth is, even when we are bullying ourselves. He wants us to speak honestly, but kindly to ourselves. He does not want us to bully ourselves.
Show your children the statements you placed in the bowl before class. Pick a volunteer to choose a statement to read. After she has read the statement, the children can offer suggestions on how to turn that negative statement into honest, positive self-talk.
Here are the sentences for your reference. Ways to change them to positive thoughts are included in the parentheses after each statement.
When you hear yourself thinking negative and abusive thoughts about yourself, stop! Change the negative thoughts to positive ones that agree with what God says about you.
What are some ways you can encourage yourself?
Allow the children to offer ideas. Share the following ideas if your children do not mention them: prayer, reading the Bible, talking with friends, singing, or taking a walk.
Here are some other tips to help you turn that negative thought into a positive one.
Memorize God’s Word. Repeating to yourself the verses you learn is one of the best ways to stop bullying yourself. God made you, and He does not make mistakes! He says that everything in His creation—including you—is wonderfully made!
Ask God for help. He always hears you when you pray. Ask Him to remind you of the truth about who you are. He will help you turn your thoughts to positive and truthful ones.
Focus on your strengths. When you feel discouraged, it is easy to only think negative things about yourself. For every negative thought you have, try to think of something positive about yourself. God made you in a wonderful way with unique skills and gifts.
Learn from your mistakes. When you make a mistake, do not beat yourself up over it. Instead, think about what you can learn from it. For example, if you hurt a friend because of gossip you spread, ask her to forgive you. Then decide that you will not say anything about someone that you would not say to that person’s face. Everyone makes mistakes. God loves you no matter what you do! Remember the verse we heard about God being greater than our hearts.
Sometimes you may not feel like saying encouraging words to yourself. Do it anyway! Have faith that God loves you and thinks that you are very special, even when you do not feel special.
We talked about receiving encouragement from God and talking positively to ourselves. Now we will learn to replace negative words with positive ones.
Tell your children to spread their hands out in front of them. As they touch each finger, they should think of 1 negative thing they tell themselves. It might be something like “I am unlovable” or “I cannot learn.” Let them know that they do not have to share these negative thoughts with anyone else. Do this activity with the children. Your example will encourage them to participate fully.
Thinking about all these negative words can be very discouraging. But now we will replace each negative thought with a positive thing God says about us. Touch each finger and think of a positive word or phrase about yourself, like “Amazing” or “God is with me!”
Hold up your pointer finger and allow the children to shout out the positive thought they will use to replace the negative one. Repeat this for each finger.
Optional: If you are using the Student Pages, there is space for children to record negative and positive self-talk.
Sometimes the self-talk we hear can be loud as well as negative. Sometimes it can be hard to hear positive self-talk. Let’s practice quieting negative statements to a whisper and shouting positive statements.
I will say a statement out loud. If it is negative self-talk, everyone whisper, “Bully.” If the statement is positive self-talk or something God would say about you, shout, “I believe God!”
Good job! Let’s end our time today by choosing to take a stand to not bully ourselves with negative self-talk. Everyone stand up and raise your hand as a sign that you will remember the positive self-talk you thought about for each finger. With your hands raised, I will speak a closing blessing over you.
Read this blessing from Proverbs 18:20 over the children.
Blessing: Anytime you start to bully yourself with negative thoughts and words, may you remember what God says about you! Good, positive words you speak to yourself will satisfy your heart.
Lead the children in singing this quarter’s song, if possible.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
