During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
If you are using the optional supplies, before class, wrap 4 books with sheets of paper and secure the paper loosely with tape. On the front of each book, write 1 of the 4 Bible references below. On the back of the each of book, write the statement below that corresponds with the Bible verse.
1. Focus on your own shortcomings.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Matthew 7:3
2. Consider the other person’s feelings.
In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:4
3. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew 7:12
4. Be compassionate and humble.
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8
Also, if possible, make copies of the My Side cards at the end of the lesson so you have enough for the whole class. If that is not possible, the students can share the cards.
In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines.
Proverbs 18:17
When conflicts arise, Jesus is our Mediator. When conflict arose between man and God, Jesus resolved it by sacrificing His life for our wrongdoing. Because of this, He is uniquely qualified to help us resolve our conflicts with one another. When you have a conflict, do you lean on the One who has the power to heal and to judge while you wait to hear the other person’s side? When you are feeling hurt by others, do you kneel at the feet of the One whose love can restore you while you collect all the facts?
As you prepare for this lesson, consider a time in your life when you waited to hear the whole story—and a time when you did not. Pray that God will give you the wisdom, patience, and understanding to set an example for your students in this area. Pray also that He will help you to always see your students’ side, even when it may seem to them that no one else does. Walking alongside them in difficult times can help you lead them to the Mediator, who can give them the kind of love that overcomes all wrongs.
Help your students see that keeping their emotions under control until the whole story is known leads to understanding. Pray that God will show your students how to treat others with love and respect by learning to see what others are thinking and feeling.
Encourage the students to ask their family members, “Do you know what it means to walk in someone else’s shoes?” They can then share how seeing the other side of the story can help to solve a problem.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Greet your students. Ask how they did at actively listening this past week. Let them know that today they will learn another communication skill.
This opening activity will help your students to see the difference between the facts of a situation and their interpretations, or the stories they guess from it.
Before class begins, ask a volunteer to sit in front of the students with his head in his hands. As the other teens begin to notice him, ask:
Allow students to share their thoughts.
Optional: If a whiteboard or paper and markers are available, you can write the students’ answers on the board or paper. Write down the answers to the second question in a different color.
If your students repeat the same answers they gave in the previous question, such as, “He is sad” or “He wants to be left alone,” challenge them by asking, “Can you actually see that he is sad?”
Encourage the students to identify facts they can see, such as what the volunteer is wearing or the position of his body.
Allow students to share their answers.
What we can see are facts. Other observations are our interpretations of the facts—the stories we make up about a given situation to help us understand it.
Students may answer things such as personal experiences, culture, and family dynamics.
Students may disagree about the answer to this. That is okay.
Often there is more than 1 way to understand a situation. The way we understand a situation or problem may not be the same way others see it. To communicate well, we need to know both sides of the story. It is easy to only think of things from your own point of view. But when you do that, it is difficult to communicate well and understand others. Let me read a verse from the Bible that speaks about hearing both sides.
Have a student read this verse aloud from the Bible.
In a lawsuit the first to speak seems right, until someone comes forward and cross-examines.
Proverbs 18:17
Often we do not consider what another person is thinking or feeling. We only see things from our own point of view.
You may be misunderstanding an important part of what is happening.
When we choose to understand both sides of a story, we gain a greater understanding of what is going on. When we see the story from another viewpoint, we can understand more clearly, which allows us to communicate better.
There are always 2 sides to every story. Often we see things from only 1 perspective and make our decisions based on only some of the facts. But when we hear the same situation from another person’s perspective, it may change our minds. We may recognize that a misunderstanding, not a true offense, occurred. We may realize that the other person had no choice but to behave in the way that ended up confusing us, hurting us, or making us angry.
Understanding the whole story from both sides can be a challenge. But it is worth the effort. It helps us to live peacefully with those around us and to show the love and compassion of Jesus in our words and actions. We will look at some ways to help you to look at both sides of the story.
Optional: Have 4 students stand in front of the group, holding the books you prepared before class. The Bible verses should be facing out. As you discuss each method for seeing both sides of the story, have that student turn his book around, revealing the statement.
1. Focus on your own shortcomings.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Matthew 7:3
2. Consider the other person’s feelings.
In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:4
3. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew 7:12
4. Be compassionate and humble.
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8
End of Option
Read the statements and have the students read the verses directly from the Bible. If that is not possible, the passages are written here for you.
We will read 4 verses from the Bible that give us ideas for seeing the whole picture, not just our own limited viewpoints.
1. Focus on your own shortcomings.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Matthew 7:3
No one is without sin, or perfect, except for Jesus. We all make mistakes and are wrong sometimes. If you remember that you might be wrong, it will help you to see the other side of the story.
2. Consider how the other person feels.
In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:3b-4
We all naturally think about what we want. But the Bible says we should also think about what others want. Understanding the needs and wants of other people will help you see their side of the story.
3. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew 7:12
You may feel like someone does not deserve your kindness or respect. But if you switched places with him, how would you want to be treated? Treating the other person the way you want to be treated helps you to understand her side of the story because you are more sensitive to her emotions or her understanding of the situation.
4. Be compassionate and humble.
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8
Students may answer that when you are humble you realize you may not know the whole story; compassion allows you to care about the person, even when you disagree.
Doing these 4 things will help you to see both sides of the story. Sometimes this can be difficult—especially when our emotions are involved. Even when we do understand the other person’s point of view, we may still feel hurt or angry. Even in those situations, God sees your point of view. He teaches us by example to forgive, to show kindness, and to resolve conflicts peacefully. The most important reason to try to understand someone else’s point of view is to become more like Jesus. When we see things from another person’s perspective, we can begin to see things the way He does. God’s way is always the best way.
A wise man once said that to understand someone else’s perspective, you need to walk in her shoes. Let’s do an activity that helps you do that.
Have the students pair up with someone they do not know very well. One student in each pair will receive the card My Side 1 and the other student the card My Side 2. You can find these at the end of this lesson. Tell the students that they are not to share with their partners what their cards say.
My Side 1: You cannot find the only thing you have from your mother—a pretty necklace. You are upset. You see your friend wearing it. She did not ask you if she could wear it. You are angry.
My Side 2: You found a necklace. No one was around. You did not know whose necklace it was. So you started wearing it.
Optional: Hand out pencils and paper to the pairs. Tell the students to trace their feet onto the paper. Each student will stand on his own paper feet and face his partner.
End of Option
We have been learning to use “I Messages” and active listening. Using those skills can also help you to see the other person’s side of the story.
You each received a card with your side of the story. Do not share with your partner what your card says. You will each have 2 minutes to act out a scene, basing your responses on what your card says. Share what happened from your own point of view.
After the teens have acted out the scene, have them switch positions and stand where their partners were standing. If you are using the Optional Supplies, they will stand on each other’s paper feet. They will then act out the scene again from the other point of view.
Discuss these questions with the whole class.
Students may answer rely on God or ask God for help.
Jesus has walked in your shoes. Because He loves you, He always knows what is in your heart and on your mind. When your emotions take over, you can go to Him for help with keeping them under control. He can help you to look at a situation through His eyes and see the truth.
Optional: If you are using the Student Pages, ask the students to read the situation at the top and fill out the page.
Ask the students to share other situations where standing in someone else’s shoes could change how they respond. Divide children into 4 groups and give each group 1 of the verses they discussed earlier. Have groups reread their verses and pray that God will help them to follow these instructions as they try to love and serve others better.
End class with a blessing based on 1 Peter 3:8:
Blessing: May our faithful God help you to live in harmony with one another. May He help you to be sympathetic, to love as brothers and sisters, and to be compassionate and humble.
If you have time, continue to share this song with your students to celebrate how great God is!
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
