Stopping Sexual Abuse

Young Teen

Digital Resources Teacher Tip:

During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:

In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.

Focus on Life Skills

Supplies

Bible
Sticks, 1 for each student
Dirt area for drawing

Optional Supplies

Memory Verse poster
Pencils
Student Pages
Paper
Coloured pencils or markers

Teacher Tip: For this lesson, divide your teens into 2 groups: 1 for boys only and 1 for girls only. If possible, have a man lead the boys’ session and a woman lead the girls’ session.

Teacher Devotion

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Matthew 6:10

Through His life, Jesus brought the kingdom of God to earth. He healed the sick, raised the dead, and drove out demons. Through His death, Jesus defeated sin and evil on the cross. We live between the crucifixion and Christ’s return, when He will restore everything to the perfection He intends and make all things new. Therefore, God’s kingdom is both “now” and “not yet.” In this time, God’s kingdom and the kingdom of darkness battle in every nation, city, and village on earth. And in this time, unspeakable evil happens. This includes sexual abuse.

Jesus taught His followers to pray for God to bring His kingdom and cause His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. As you prepare to teach this difficult lesson about stopping sexual abuse, set aside time to spend with your Saviour. Ask Him to bring healing in your own life if you have experienced the pain of abuse. Ask Him to reveal how He wants to minister to each of your teens. Ask Him to guide you as you participate in His work of helping and healing the wounded. Then listen and pray. It is through your prayers for yourself and your teens that God, in bringing His kingdom to earth, will begin to heal the hurting hearts of the abused.

Family Connection

Encourage the students to ask a family member, “What makes you feel safe?” If possible, share the tips for handling dangerous situations with the families. Help the families to understand that sexual abuse is not part of God’s plan. You may also provide resource lists to the families to help those who are being abused.

Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.

Lesson Time

1. Connecting:

Draw or write about justice, love, and righteousness.

Teacher Tip: Let the students know that today the boys and girls will learn in 2 different classes again. Tell them you will learn about sensitive topics and want to protect each person’s privacy. Direct the different groups to where each will learn with the male or female teacher.

As the teens arrive, invite them to share about people who showed love and care for them recently. This will affirm that there are caring and loving people in their lives they can trust and depend on.

Teacher Tip: For some of the teens in your group, you may be the only trusted adult they can confide in. So be prepared. Talk with the leaders of your church or organization about the best way to report abuse. In some places, sexual abuse is not considered wrong, and in some places the teen may be blamed for the abuse. Be aware of the situation in your community before informing authorities about abuse. If you made a list of organizations and trusted adults who can help those who are abused, have it available to share it with your students if necessary.

Give each student a stick. Tell the teens that you will say 3 words. For each, they will draw something to represent what that word means to them. They can draw symbols, words, or pictures. For example, if you say, “Peace” they might draw a dove, a quiet stream, or something else that represents peace to them.

Optional Supplies: If you have paper and coloured pencils or marker available, students may use those for this activity.

Read the first word in the list below. Then give the students 1–2 minutes to draw. After they finish drawing, encourage the students to look at the drawings around them. Repeat this for all 3 words.

Justice
Love
Righteousness

Teacher Tip: If your students are unsure of what “righteousness” means, explain that it means to be free of guilt or to be morally right. If they are unsure about the definition of “justice,” tell them that it means treating people based on God’s standard instead of human standards.

In the last lesson, we talked about some of the characteristics of God. Do you remember them?

Allow students to share their thoughts. If they need help remembering, you can share that God is our creator, a fortress in times of trouble, a loving Father, and our healer.

These characteristics are just a few of God’s many qualities. Some other qualities of God are justice, love, and righteousness. God is always just, always loving, and always righteous. We can trust Him to help us stand up for what is just, what is loving, and what is right.

2. Teaching:

Learn about God’s character and tips to avoid sexual abuse (Psalm 33:5; 145:17–18).

Teacher Tip: This lesson covers sensitive topics and brings to the surface hurts that hide deep within your students’ hearts. If at any point in the lesson you feel you should stop to pray, do so. Remind your students throughout this lesson that sexual abuse is never the fault of the person who is abused. It is also important that they do not think sexual abuse is completely preventable. Sadly, often it is not.

Let’s read a Bible verse that tells us more about the 3 attributes of God we just drew pictures of.

Have a student read Psalm 33:5 aloud from the Bible. If that is not possible, use the passage printed here for you.

The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.

Psalm 33:5

How would you say this verse in your own words?

This verse tells us that God loves what is right and fair. These words help us to understand God’s plan for the world. When He first created the earth and everything in it, He intended for our world to be completely free from sin. But because He also gave us freedom to choose how we behave, humans chose to sin.

Sexual abuse is sin, so we know that God hates it. It was not part of His plan for the world or His plan for your life. Remember that He cherishes you as the apple of His eye and you can always turn to God when you are hurting.

Today we will learn some ways to protect ourselves in situations where abuse may happen. Today we will talk about warning signs to help us to know if a situation may be dangerous. We will also talk about what we can do to stand up for righteousness and justice in abusive situations. Understanding these things may help you to prevent sexual abuse. However, it is important to understand 2 things. First, sexual abuse cannot always be prevented. And second, sexual abuse is never the fault of the abused person.

Here are some tips that may help you in a dangerous situation. These tips may help you avoid being sexually abused. Some of these may not fit your situation, and some of them may be impossible to do. But it is good to have some ideas of how to deal with a dangerous situation so you will have some ideas if you are ever in this circumstance.

Pay attention to your feelings. Sometimes, if you are in a dangerous situation, you may feel nervous or get an upset stomach. These are warning signs from your body that the situation is not safe. Pay attention to these warnings and try to move to safety, if possible. If you ignore these warning feelings and abuse happens, remember that it is still not your fault. Abuse is always wrong
Set healthy boundaries. If possible, try to avoid spending time with someone who you think may be an abuser. However, this may not be possible because many sexual abusers are people you know, such as family members, neighbours, and friends. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, try to avoid being alone with that person. If abuse begins to happen, say, “No!” as firmly as you can if it is safe to do so and try to get away. If it does not put you in more danger, try to fight off the abuser.
If you are in a dangerous situation, try to distract the abuser in a calm and polite way. Offer him food or water. Talk to him about your parents or other trusted adults in your life so he knows you have people who care about you. Tell him about your church or your school. Try to make him or her think of other things. This does not always work, but it is worth trying. You may also make a lot of noise so others may come to your help.
If possible, guard your privacy. Do not take off your clothes in front of others, even if they ask you to or give you reasons you should. Your body is private and belongs to you and to God. As a general rule, no one should see you naked or touch your private areas except a doctor who is giving you medical care or your husband or wife when you are married. If you are not sure what is appropriate, ask a trusted adult for advice.
Try to avoid situations that may put you at risk. Sexual abuse is more likely to happen when people are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. It may be more likely when you are alone with someone. So, whenever possible, try to avoid these types of situations.
Most importantly, pray! God loves you. He is with you. He may show you a way of escape. But even if the abuse still happens, know that He is right beside you. He weeps with you. We live in a sinful world, where bad things happen. But God is angry about the horrible things that are done to His people. He will bring justice, whether it is here on earth or in eternity. The abuser will face God’s righteous justice.

Memory Verse

Show the Memory Verse poster if you are using it.

Let’s read another verse about what God promises to us:

The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Psalm 145:17–18

This verse also tells us that God loves righteousness and justice. His ways are always right and faithful. But this verse tells us something else about God—that He will stand by your side, even when you are in a dangerous situation, when you are being sexually abused or when you have been abused in the past. He loves you always! One thing you can do in any situation is trust in God. When you call on Him, He will be near you.

Teacher Tip: If your students ask why God does not always stop evil from happening, remind them that we live in a broken, sinful, and fallen world. When Jesus comes again, all will be made right. But, until then, bad things will happen. Share the information from the Resource Article titled “Why Does God Allow Bad Things to Happen?”

Remember these tips do not always work. Sexual abuse cannot always be prevented. However, these tips may help some people stay safe from abuse.

3. Responding

Practice responding to dangerous situations and pray for those who have been sexually abused.

Have students find partners and sit next to them, but still face you.

Now I am going to read some dangerous situations that could lead to sexual abuse. After I read each situation, you and your partner will decide which tip may work best in that situation. Or, you can share your own ideas for that situation. These situations are wrong and unjust, and I pray they do not happen to you. But if they do and you have practiced how you will respond, you will be more prepared if you find yourself in situations like these.

Teacher Tip: Pay attention to students’ emotional reactions as you read these situations. Look for signs of anxiety or upset, such as acting disinterested, fidgeting, or intentionally distracting others. Look for changes from the way a teen usually behaves. If you notice a teen behaving in an unusual way, be sure to talk to him after class. Ask if he can share what was bothering him.

Situation 1: A neighbour tries to spend time alone with you. This person may tell you that you or someone you care about will be hurt if you resist.
- What may help you in this situation?
  - Give the teens 2 minutes to discuss their ideas. Then allow 2–3 students to share their thoughts. Be sure to reinforce any ideas that might be helpful to your students.
- It is best to avoid spending time alone with anyone who threatens you or does something that is making you uncomfortable. If possible, try to have friends or trusted adults with you when you need to be around this person.
Situation 2: An older teen forces you to kiss him or sit on his lap, even when you say you do not want to. He touches your genitals or makes you touch his genitals. He says things like “I love you and want to make you feel good.”
- What may help you in this situation?
  - Pause while the students discuss their ideas.
- No one should touch your private areas except your spouse after you are married. Tell him firmly that you do not want to touch him or have him touch you. Then walk away if possible and tell a trusted adult.
Situation 3: Someone tells you to take off your clothes so he or she can take your picture. The person might say that there is no touching, so it is okay. Maybe this person gives your family money to spend time with you and comments about how good looking you are.
- What may help you in this situation?
  - Give the students 2–3 minutes to share their ideas.
- Your body belongs to you and to God, and taking pictures of your naked body and your private parts does not honour you or God. If possible, do not go anywhere with this person. Tell a trusted adult what is happening. If you find yourself in this situation, try to distract the abuser if possible until you can put your clothes on and leave.

Optional: Use the situations below if they are common in your community. If they are not common, skip them and move on to the rest of the lesson after Situation 5.

Situation 4: Your family thinks it is okay for fathers, brothers, uncles, or family friends to have sex with children and teenagers or to sell them for sex. They try to force you to have sex.
- What may help you in this situation?
- God does not intend for you to have sexual relations before you are married. Having sexual intercourse with family members is abuse, and it is not part of God’s plan. In this situation, you need to tell a trusted adult who can help you to find a safer place to be. Keep trying to find someone who will help you if the first person does not help. You may find help at a medical clinic.
Situation 5: A stranger offers you a high-paying job in the city. He offers your family money for sending you with him. You feel uncomfortable, but know your family needs help.
- What may help you in this situation?

Some people use lies like these to trick you into going with them. This is called human trafficking. Human trafficking is a form of slavery, and those who are trafficked are often sold for sexual purposes. If you find yourself in this situation, if possible refuse to go, ask for help from a trusted adult, and look for other ways to help your family.

If you find yourself in a new place and at risk of being sold for sex, create a lot of noise. If possible, run away from the situation. Look for someone who appears and feels safe and might help you. It is important to memorize ways to contact your family. If someone else you trust has a phone, memorize that number also.

End of option

Teacher Tip: Most young people who are sexually abused are dishonoured by someone they know, such as a family member, neighbour, or friend. However, many young people, especially girls, are at risk of becoming victims of human sex trafficking. The most common ways human traffickers lure their victims are befriending their victims and earning their trust, offering money to families living in poverty in exchange for their children, promising to give the young person a good education or a respectable job, or becoming romantically involved with a young woman and even marrying her to gain her trust before selling her as a sex slave or prostitute. Education is the key to preventing young people from becoming victims of human sex trafficking. If you think this information will empower your students, share it!

Some abuse victims may feel love or loyalty toward their abusers. They may not understand that they are being abused. They may like the physical feelings or attention. Some have only known abuse and believe they do not deserve anything better. Be sensitive to these emotions and beliefs, and help these teens to see that abuse in any form is not part of God’s plan for their lives.

We have learned a lot of important information today, information that might help you or someone you know to avoid getting hurt in the future.

What is 1 thing you learned that might help someone avoid being sexually abused?

Let’s read Psalm 33:5 again. Remember that this verse is describing God. Listen again for the 3 key words we learned earlier.

If possible, have a student read Psalm 33:5 aloud from the Bible.

The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.

Psalm 33:5

How does God’s unfailing love help you in a dangerous situation?

If the teens do not answer, remind them that God will love them in any situation. He loves them no matter what has happened to them in the past.

Remember that God promises to always be near to us. Let’s listen again to these verses in Psalm 145:

The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Psalm 145:17–18

One thing you can do in any situation is trust in God. When you call on Him, He will be near you. Sexual abuse is never God’s will. Sadly, many children and teens are being sexually abused. Maybe you know someone whose body is being dishonoured by sexual abuse. Maybe you have been sexually abused. Maybe someone is still abusing you. God is with you!

Tell the students that they will now pray for those who have been or are being abused. Have the students spread out throughout your teaching area.

If you know someone who is being abused, you can call on God. If you are being abused, you can call on God. If you have been abused in the past, you can call on God. His love is faithful, and He will be near to all who call on Him. If you do not know anyone specific to pray for, pray for those in our community who are being sexually abused, even if you do not know them by name.

Remember that God loves what is right. He loves justice or setting things right. Most of all, He is love. Pray that anyone who is experiencing abuse will know that God is near. Maybe He will use you to share His love. As you pray, place your hand over your heart to show God’s great love for you and for all who are hurting.

Pause for students to pray quietly.

Teacher Tip: Remind your students that you are available to talk to them after class if they have questions or concerns about today’s topic. When talking with abuse victims, listen attentively and without judgment. Do not force them to say more than they want to. Acknowledge their courage for talking about such a painful experience. Let them know that you have heard them. Help them to understand that you believe their stories. Tell them that what happened to them was wrong. Finally, reassure them that you want to help them. Do all that you can to provide safety and help.

Optional Supplies: If you have paper and coloured pencils, the teens can draw pictures of God standing by them in a difficult situation in their lives.

If you are using the Student Pages, the teens can draw these pictures on their pages.

Close class by praying a blessing based on Psalms 33:5 and 145:17–18:

Blessing: May the One True God, who is always righteous, always just, and always faithful, bring righteousness, justice, and love into every part of your life. If you have been or are being sexually abused, may you feel His love when you call on Him!