During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
Before class, set the rotten fruit out of sight of the children.
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2
Let your children’s families know that this week the children will learn about constructive criticism. Encourage families to talk about ways constructive criticism helps you grow.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
As the children arrive, say something positive to each one. It can be something simple such as “It makes me happy to see you today!”
Have children form a close circle. Show them the good fruit. Have them pass the fruit around the circle as quickly as possible without dropping it. If someone drops it, have him pick it up and continue passing it around the circle. Tell the children to pass the fruit carefully, trying not to bruise it.
When the fruit comes back to the first person, have everyone take a large step backwards so the circle becomes bigger. The children will quickly pass the fruit around the circle again. Repeat this until the children are too far apart to successfully pass the fruit. Have the children sit down to talk about
the activity.
You all worked together well. What would have happened if you had not worked
well together?
Students may answer that they might have dropped the fruit more often and ruined it.
Show the bruised or rotten fruit to the children.
Is this fruit as good as the fruit we passed around the circle? Why or why not?
Show both pieces of fruit to the children.
These are both the same kind of fruit, but they have some differences.
Do not allow children to actually taste them. Set the fruit aside.
These 2 pieces of fruit can show us something about what we say. Our words can be good and healthy. Or they can be rotten and unhealthy. Today we will learn about something called constructive criticism.
To give criticism means to evaluate something or someone. It can be good or bad, helpful or harmful. Negative criticism tears others down. It is like rotten or bruised fruit.
To construct means to build. So constructive criticism builds others up. It is good advice. It is like good fruit. Let’s read what the Bible says about good advice, or constructive criticism.
The right ruling at the right time is like golden apples in silver jewelry.
Proverbs 25:11, NIrV
Saying the right word is like giving a right ruling. It is like constructive criticism. It is helpful.
Show children the good fruit again.
How is positive criticism like a golden apple?
Possible answers include that it is healthy, it is good, and it helps you grow.
Positive, or constructive, criticism helps you learn about your strengths and weaknesses. It is something you want to hear because it helps you to grow and become better. Here is what the Bible says about accepting this type of criticism:
Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.
Proverbs 19:20
Not all criticism is helpful or good like a golden apple. Some criticism is intended to harm or hurt you. Have you seen birds that pick at food lying on the path? They pick at it and take bites out of it. When someone criticizes you negatively, it feels like that. It can feel like someone is picking at you and taking bites out of you. That person blames you, says mean things about you, or insults you. This can feel like a bird that is picking at food. Raise your hand if you have ever felt that way.
This type of criticism is not good. Verbal abuse or unhelpful criticism is like rotten fruit. It is something that should not have been said or should have been said in a different way.
What makes negative criticism like rotten fruit?
Allow the children to respond. They may mention that it is not healthy and makes people feel bad.
What are examples of negative criticism?
Some examples are telling someone she is bad because she dropped a book or that he is stupid because he does not know how to tie his shoelaces.
Constructive criticism should be about someone’s behaviour, not about the person herself. It should never be a personal attack on someone. It is always truthful. It helps someone change and grow. It is helpful. Listen to these verses about giving or receiving constructive criticism or wise advice:
If you are using the Memory Verse Poster, show it to the students.
Wise hearts are known for understanding what is right. Kind words make people want to learn more. … The hearts of wise people guide their mouths. Their words make people want to learn more.
Proverbs 16:21, 23, NIrV
If you want to grow, you need to learn to receive constructive criticism. And if you are giving constructive criticism, you need say it kindly and in a way that makes the person you are talking to want to learn more.
Listen as I read a criticism situation to you. You will decide if the criticism is a golden apple of constructive criticism or a rotten apple of unhelpful advice. If you think the criticism is a golden apple—something you should hear—cup your ear with your hand. We want to hear these words. If you think the criticism is a rotten apple and should not have been said, put your hands over your lips. We want to close our mouths before a rotten apple, or negative criticism, comes out!
The correct answers are in parentheses for your information.
Congratulate the children for picking out the golden apples from the rotten apples.
Even if the criticism is constructive and intended to help you, it can still be hard to hear it. None of us want to hear bad things about ourselves. Let’s learn how to receive constructive criticism in a healthy way.
It is important to know how to receive the golden apples of constructive criticism. It is also important to know how to give golden apples to someone else! You should always treat others as you would like to be treated. Here are 6 tips for giving constructive criticism.
Let’s use our fingers to help us review these tips on giving constructive criticism.
Optional: If you are using Student Pages, there is space for children to practice identifying constructive and negative criticism.
Today you learned how to recognize, receive, and give constructive criticism. You can probably think of times when you gave negative criticism or hurt someone with your words.
Spend a moment asking God to show you who you may have hurt with your words. Ask for His forgiveness. Sometime this week, you may also want to ask the person you hurt to forgive you.
Give the children a moment to listen to the Spirit and to ask for God’s forgiveness.
Now let’s practice giving and receiving constructive criticism. You will practice by asking for constructive criticism or advice in an area you know you can grow in.
Have the children find partners. Each child will think of something she needs to improve on or grow in. For example, she may need to control her anger. The children will share their growth areas with their partners. The partners will offer constructive criticism to each other, following the 6 tips they just learned.
After about 7–10 minutes, tell the children you are proud of them for wanting to grow. Have the children stand with their hands raised and open. Close class by speaking this blessing from Proverbs 16:21 and 25:11 over the children.
Blessing: When others give you negative criticism, may you remember to throw it out like a rotten apple! When others give you constructive criticism, may you think of it as a golden apple. May the Lord give you wise hearts to understand what is right and kind words to help others grow.
Lead the children in singing this quarter’s song, if possible.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
