During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
IMPORTANT! Divide your children into 2 groups: 1 for boys and 1 for girls. If possible, a man should teach the boys and a woman should teach the girls. If possible, have the boys and girls meet in different teaching spaces where they cannot see or hear each other. Please do not include children younger than 8 in these sessions, although you may include older children.
This lesson is about learning warning signs of sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is a very difficult topic.
It is important to create a safe and trusting environment for your children. They need to feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings about abuse in general as well as any abuse they may have experienced.
Here are some tips for creating a safe environment:
IMPORTANT! There are 4 things you need to communicate to any child who shares with you about sexual abuse.
If any children share with you that they or someone they know has experienced abuse, acknowledge their pain. Reassure them that what they experienced was not their fault. This is a very important message. Repeat it often!
Do what you can to get help for the child. Be sure you inform those who are in authority over you. Unfortunately, in some places sexual abuse is not considered wrong. In some places the child may be blamed for the abuse. Whatever you do, be careful that you do nothing that will further endanger the child. If it is appropriate and safe for the child, then you should inform the authorities.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:7–8
Reading these verses, we can sometimes skip over the first sentence and jump to the part that is ours to do: be self-controlled and alert. Watch out for the enemy. It is sometimes easier to focus on what we can do, but these verses tell us that first we need to trust, and then we can act.
These verses start with casting our cares on God because He cares for us. What cares and burdens are you carrying? What things are making you anxious? Come to the One who is waiting for you to enter His rest. Spend time giving to Him those things that cause you anxiety. Rest in His care. Then pray for your children to learn these same things in today’s lesson.
If appropriate, share the warning signs the children learn in today’s lesson with their families. Again, share the Resource Articles or the information in them with the families if you can.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Welcome the children into class. Once again, separate the boys from the girls and have them meet in separate teaching spaces. If possible, have a man teach the boys and a woman teach the girls.
In our last lessons, we have learned about some difficult things, such as honoring and dishonoring touch and sexual abuse. These can be painful things to talk about. Remember that I am available to talk with any of you who have questions or want to talk privately with me. You can come see me after class. I am praying for each of you!
Let’s start today by reviewing what we remember about honoring and dishonoring touch. Everyone stand up. I will read a statement. If it is honoring touch, lift your arms high in the air. If the statement is dishonoring touch, cross your arms over your chest. When you respond, make your movements big.
You all did a great job deciding which touch is honoring and which is dishonoring. Remember that dishonoring touch is unhealthy, causes emotional pain, and does not please God.
Today we will learn some warning signs that might help protect you from some sexual abuse. It might also help you get out of situations where abuse may occur. This lesson will help both boys and girls. Hopefully you will be able to use this information to stay safe. Unfortunately, not all abuse is preventable, even when you do everything you can to stay safe. It is always important to remember that the child is never to blame for sexual abuse. As we have learned, God cares deeply about each person. He can heal a child who has been abused.
Tell the children that we can never know every dangerous situation ahead of time.
Today we will learn some warning signs of when a person is in danger of being sexually abused. We will also learn how to try to avoid these situations. Finally, we will learn things we can do to try to get out of dangerous situations, if possible.
This lesson is important even if you have not been abused or if you do not know anyone who has been abused. Some children do not know when they are being abused. They do not know how to get help. This lesson may help you stay safe in the future. You may also be able to help a friend stay safe. Remember that no matter what happens, sexual abuse is never the
child’s fault.
When children honor their bodies, they will have the confidence to protect themselves from dishonoring touch.
Allow the children to answer aloud, and praise them for correct answers. Answers may include: My body belongs to God and me. People can only touch my body with my permission. I can only touch other people with their permission. No one should touch my private parts. Sex is for married people.
Listen to this Bible verse that gives us some good advice about how to stay safe.
Good sense will keep you safe. Understanding will guard you.
Proverbs 2:11, NIrV
It can help you be aware of situations. It may help you stay out of dangerous situations.
Present the situations below in a way that empowers the children to feel strong enough to handle difficult situations. You do not want the children to feel more afraid. Read each situation, and then stop for a few seconds to give the children time to think. Then ask, “What could you do?”
I will read a situation that may be dangerous. After you have a moment to think of what you might do, I will tell you some possible ways to get out of the situation.
Situation 1:
An adult or older child you do not know tries to spend time alone with you. Sometimes he will use tricks to get you alone. He may tell you that he will give you sweets or a present or show you something special if you go with him.
Pause while the children think of what they could do.
Allow several children to respond before sharing the following tips.
If possible, never go anywhere alone with someone you do not know, unless you have permission from a trusted adult. God made you very smart. Sometimes you may get warning feelings about people or situations. You may feel nervous or get an upset stomach. Pay attention to your warning feelings that tell you, “Be careful!” or “This does not feel right!” God gave you those warning feelings to help you stay safe. That can be the good sense we read about in the Bible verse.
Situation 2:
An adult you know wants to touch you dishonorably or have sex with you. He might say things such as:
Pause while the children think of what they could do.
Allow the children to respond.
Allow the children to respond.
It is not okay for anyone to touch your private parts. You can say no and run away or tell a trusted adult. If one adult does not help you, tell another adult. Taking pictures of private parts does not honor God. Taking naked pictures often leads to dishonoring touch. The only time someone should touch your private parts is when someone such as a doctor or nurse is helping you because you are sick or hurt.
Listen to a verse that also helps us know how to stay safe in these types of situations.
If you are using the Memory Verse Poster, show it to the students.
The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.
Proverbs 14:15
If necessary, explain that “prudent” means wise.
The simple person believes everything he hears. A prudent or wise person thinks about what he hears and what to believe. Do not believe everything a person tells you, especially if it is putting you in danger.
Situation 3:
Some people think it is okay for a father, brother, uncle, or family friends to have sex with their children or to sell children for sex. They might force you to have sex. Forcing someone to have sex is always wrong. It is never God’s plan.
Pause while the children think of what they could do.
Allow the children to respond.
Tell a trusted adult outside of the family such as a teacher or nurse or someone from church.
Situation 4:
Sometimes a child is kidnapped or tricked into leaving home. Someone might tell a boy he can get a well-paying job in the city. A girl may be told she is going to meet a prospective husband. A child may be told he is going to visit a relative he has never met. Instead of these good things, the children are sold for sex.
Pause while the children think of what they could do.
Allow the children to respond.
If you are going with a relative you do not know well or do not trust, or you are being sent away to visit a relative you do not know, let a trusted adult know where you are going. Ask him to find you if he does not hear from you within 2 days.
You must remember how to contact your parents or another trusted adult. Memorize their phone numbers, if they have one, so that you can call for help if needed.
If you find yourself in a new place and at risk of being sold for sex, create a disturbance. If possible, run. Look for someone who looks and feels safe and might help you.
Listen to another verse that can give us wisdom when facing dangerous situations.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:7–8
The devil is the enemy of anyone God loves—that is all of us! He looks for ways to destroy people by abusing them or hurting them in other ways. Remember that God cares for you and invites you to give Him all of your fear and anxiety. He also wants us to be alert and watch out so hopefully we can avoid danger.
You all came up with some good ideas of ways to try to stay safe. The tips we learned are:
This last tip is the most important—pray and ask God for help! God loves you. He wants to help you stay safe. Even if something like abuse happens, remember that He is always with you. He cares for you, and He can help you heal.
If you have been abused or find yourself in a dangerous situation that you cannot get out of, remember that it is not your fault. It is never the child’s fault when sexual abuse happens.
Let’s make a list of safe places and safe people who could help. These might be specific people or places you know or they might be general places such as a church or medical clinic.
Help your students think of at least 10 safe people or places they could go to if they are in danger.
The purpose of this activity is for the children to practice what to do in dangerous situations so that they will be more prepared to escape real-life dangerous situations. Have the children find partners. If you have an odd number of children, there can be a group of 3.
Now we will practice how to be wise and have courage in dangerous situations. I will tell you about a dangerous situation. Talk with your partner about how you might respond to that situation. Remember our tips:
Pick 2 of the situations listed below that you think will best help the children practice how to respond. If you think some situations would upset the children, do not use them.
Someone offers you sweets if you will go alone with him to a room. An adult says, “You have to do what you are told and have sex with me.” You are sent away to work or get married. But someone tries to sell you for sex instead. You tell an adult that someone touched you sexually, but that adult does not believe you.
Congratulate the children for their responses. Ask your children to pray for any child who has been or is still being abused. It might be them or someone they know. They can also pray for children who have suffered abuse, even if they do not know anyone personally.
Optional: If you are using the Student Pages, have the children write on them how they would respond to the dangerous situation.
Plan to stay after class today. Some children may need to talk with you alone. Close with this blessing based on 1 Peter 5:7–8.
Blessing: You can cast all your anxiety on Jesus because He cares deeply for you. May He help you to be self-controlled and alert. He wants to help you stay safe.
Lead the children in singing this quarter’s song, if possible.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
