During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
What is love? The romantic gestures of a spouse? The compassion and care of a parent for a child? The loyalty of a friend? Are there different types of love for different relationships? Think of the things your culture tells you about love. Now think about what God tells you about love. How is His love different from what you see around you? How great is His love that He sent His Son to die on the cross for you! That is true, biblical love.
Think about your relationships with your spouse, your family, and your friends. Are there times when you act selfishly or impatiently toward those you love? Do you struggle with disappointment because you do not always experience unity in your marriage? Surrender your relationships to God in prayer. Ask Him to help you let go of cultural views of love that keep you from loving others in a godly way. Receive God’s love for you. Let Him fill you with a love for others that is patient, kind, humble, selfless, and filled with hope.
Encourage the students to ask their married family members, “What is your favourite thing about your spouse?”The teens can then share that love honours the strengths in others and shows grace for their weaknesses.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Greet your students by name as they arrive. Your interest in their lives helps build trust, which can open up their hearts to learning and sharing.
Select 3 separate areas in your teaching space. Read these 3 definitions of love to the students.
Which definition of love do you think is correct? As I read them again, I will point to different areas of the room. When I read the definition you agree with, go to the area I am pointing to.
Read the definitions again. As you read each definition, indicate a different area where the students should stand. Pause between definitions to allow the students to move to the indicated areas.
After the students have moved to the areas, ask them to discuss the following questions in their groups. Then call on 1–2 students from each area to share with the class.
Teens might share about the selfless love of a parent or friend. Some might talk about having feelings for someone of the opposite sex. Be prepared to help students respond appropriately.
Ask students to join you in the middle of your space and sit down.
Allow students to share their thoughts. Some students may come from families where physical or verbal abuse is common. They might believe that abuse is a normal and acceptable part of love and marriage.
Some people think love is someone else making you feel beautiful or important. Some people think love is physical attraction. Some people think it is allowing someone else to control your life and decisions. Today we will talk about what love is according to the Bible and how this biblical love is a part of God’s plan for marriage.
We all hope for happiness in life. Many of us hope that love and happiness will be part of marriage. Though love can bring happiness, there is a deeper kind of love that the Bible tells us about.
Ask a student to read 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 aloud from the Bible.
If possible, show the Action Bible image of the letter to the Corinthians.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4–7
Have students get into pairs. Ask the following questions, and give the partners about 1 minute to discuss their answers. Then allow the whole group to talk about their answers together for a few minutes.
Students might say things such as love thinks about others first, love is good and benefits others, love is selfless and humble, love never gives up.
Students might say things such as “God is patient and kind,”“He does not in evil,”“He rejoices with the truth,” and “He always protects and is trustworthy. He can help us to bear hope and persevere.”
Optional: If you are using the Student Pages, your students can complete the page now.
God is the model of perfect love. He cares more deeply for us than we can imagine. He sent His Son as the sacrifice for our sins—because of His love for us. He gives us the opportunity to become part of His family because His love is unfailing, unselfish, and unchangeable.
Think back to the 3 definitions of love we discussed earlier:
Most students will probably agree that the biblical description of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 most closely aligns with the second definition: “Love means choosing to put someone else’s needs before your own and treating him or her with kindness, even when it is difficult.”This sentence describes love as selfless and kind.
Allow students to respond. While students may understand that marriage is supposed to look like this type of love, they may never have seen it. If you are married, consider sharing a positive story of how you and your spouse show love for one another by thinking of each other first.
This definition of love from the Bible applies to all kinds of love—including love in marriage. But the Bible also gives us more instruction about love in marriage.
Ask a student to read Ephesians 5:21–25 aloud from the Bible.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:21–25
Students might answer that both passages talk about people being selfless and thinking about others rather than trying to gain something for themselves.
These verses tell us that we should all “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This means that Christians should treat one another with love. These verses also encourage wives to “submit” to their husbands. “Submit” means to put someone else before yourself and to honour his needs first. This does not mean that husbands can abuse or disrespect their wives or that wives should have to tolerate abuse. Instead, in God’s plan of submission and love, both the husband and the wife put each other first. Whether in a marriage or in the church, it is important for us all to honour others above ourselves.
Husbands are urged to love their wives in the same way Christ loved the church. Jesus loves us so much that He willingly died for us. That is the ultimate example of unselfish love. And God expects Christian men to put their wives’ needs before their own.
Have the students find different partners and discuss the following questions. Allow 2 minutes for the pairs to discuss each question. Then ask 2–3 pairs to share their thoughts with the whole class.
Imagine this situation: It is the future, and you are married. Your sister and brother-in-law recently died. Their young son is now orphaned. You feel it would be best for him to come and live with you. However, your spouse feels it would be best for the child to live with your brother and his family.
Allow students to discuss possible solutions with their partners for 1 minute. Then allow 2–3 pairs to share their thoughts with the whole class.
Building fellowship, teamwork, and unselfish, biblical love in your marriage means that you and your spouse work together to find solutions that are good for both of you and honour God. In this example, you and your spouse could decide to pray about the decision together. You could both try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. You could find a compromise to honour and respect each other’s needs and concerns.
Ask a student to read Romans 5:8 aloud from the Bible.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
We may think that love is only an emotion. But Jesus showed us it is a way to live. He showed us that love means putting someone else’s needs before your own. Love means showing honour, respect, kindness, and compassion to another person. Love means making sacrifices to build fellowship, teamwork, and true, biblical love in marriage.
This does not mean that romantic feelings are bad. You can experience romantic feelings for someone and also love that person with a selfless, lasting love. But unselfish, biblical love—the kind that Jesus shows to us—is more than romantic feelings. Romantic feelings can change based on your situation. But unselfish, biblical love will still last, even in the hard times.
Students might answer that they had thought love meant romantic feelings or physical attraction. True, biblical love is putting the other person first rather than thinking about how you can benefit from the relationship.
Ask students to work with the partners they had from the previous activity. Give them 1–2 minutes to share their ideas regarding the following questions. After each question, ask 2–3 students to share their answers.
Would you like to give and receive unselfish, biblical love now and possibly with a spouse in the future? We will have a few moments to think and pray about doing this.
Think about what unselfish, biblical love is. Think about Jesus’ love for you—His sacrificing, selfless love. Think or pray about if you want to know this love.
Allow a few moments of silence as students reflect on Christ’s love.
Now think about your potential future marriage. What kind of love do you hope to share with your spouse? What might you do for your spouse to show him or her your love?
Give students a few moments to think and pray about their hopes.
Now think about your relationships today with family and friends. How might you show unselfish, biblical love in these relationships?
Give students a few moments to think about their hopes for their current relationships.
God created marriage to be a lasting relationship where husbands and wives experience unselfish love that is like Jesus’ love. But, because we are sinful human beings, we will often fail. The good news is that we do not have to try on our own! If we accept Christ as our Saviour, He will give us His Holy Spirit to strengthen and help us.
Close your time by blessing your students with these words based on based on 1 Corinthians 13.
Blessing: May God help your love for others to be patient and kind, selfless, humble, and always filled with hope. And, if you marry someday, may your marriage be filled with love like Christ’s as you never lose faith, are hopeful, and always persevere together.
Lead the students in singing this quarter’s song if possible.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
