During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
Tremble and do not sin. When you are in bed, look deep down inside yourself and be silent.
Psalm 4:4
It is very important to think through our decisions before we act. This is especially true when we are angry. When we feel strong emotions, it is often easier to sin than to do the right thing. Learning to reflect on our emotions and thoughts can help keep them under control. God gave us the ability to figure out what we are feeling and why. When we understand this, we can better control our emotions.
It is a good habit to check your spirit at the end of every day. Do you have anger that may cause you to sin? Do not sin by allowing it to lay its foundation in your heart. Quiet your spirit and listen as God directs you toward a loving solution. When you allow God to replace your anger with love and forgiveness, you will please God and sleep better. Sleep well!
Encourage families to ask the children to share 1 way they will practice letting go of anger.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Welcome the children to class with a warm smile. Ask them to tell you 1 step they can take to control their anger. Then ask them to sit in a circle.
The last time we met, we talked about what we can do to control our anger. We talked about the following steps.
Let’s remind ourselves what these steps look like. Everyone, close your eyes! Imagine something you could do to show anger. Remember, you can show anger on your face or with your actions. Be sure you do not to touch anyone around you. Open your eyes. Show me what it looks like to be angry.
Allow 30 seconds for children to show what it looks like to be angry.
You all look very angry! Now, let’s do Step 2. Stop and calm down. Show me what this would look like.
As you watch the children, point out those you notice who are breathing in and out, counting to 10, and doing other things that have been discussed in class to help them calm down.
Okay, hopefully you all feel very calm now. I think it is time to move on to Step 3. Think about why you are angry.
Allow 3–4 children to respond.
Those were good examples. There are many reasons why you might get angry. Sometimes you will know what made you angry, and other times you will not know. The important thing is that you take the time to think about how you feel and why you feel that way.
Step 4 is very important. Talk to God about your anger. Even if you do not know what caused your anger, talk to God.
Allow 2–3 children to respond.
You can tell God anything! You can tell Him how the anger feels. You can tell Him what is making you angry. You can ask Him for help with your anger. After you talk to God, there is only one more thing to do. Let go of your anger.
Let me think. Have we talked about how to let go of our anger? I told you that you should let go of your anger instead of letting it pop like a balloon with too much air. But I did not tell you how to do this. Today, we will focus on the last step in controlling anger by learning to let it go.
When you are in the middle of an angry situation, you must choose how to respond with your words and actions. You can respond with words and actions that are mean and hurtful or with words and actions that are gentle and kind. Listen carefully as I read the Bible verses about how to live a life that pleases God.
Read this verse directly from your Bible. Slowly read it 2 times.
Get rid of all hard feelings, anger and rage. Stop all fighting and lying. Don’t have anything to do with any kind of hatred. Be kind and tender to one another. Forgive one another, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done.
Ephesians 4:31–32
These verses say that we can please God by getting rid of some things and adding other things. Let’s see what we can learn from these verses. If you hear me say something God wants you to get rid of, squat down on the ground. If you hear me say something God wants you to do, jump in the air. Begin in a standing position. Ready?
When you feel angry, the first thing you usually want to do is to make the other person feel bad. You want to hurt his feelings. This can lead to fighting, lying, and feelings of hatred. These things are ways that anger can cause you to sin. Angry words and actions never make things better. They always make things worse. To see what I am talking about, we will do an experiment.
Give each child a leaf.
Grab your leaf by its stem. Hold your leaf close to your body. When I say, “Now!” throw your leaf at me as hard and fast as you can. Ready? Now!
Allow 2–3 children to respond.
None of their leaves should have reached you.
When you are angry and use mean words and actions, you are like the leaf. Just as you could not control where the leaf went, you cannot control where your anger leads you. And you cannot get very far.
Let’s do the experiment again. Hold your leaf by its stem. This time, gently straighten your arm out in front of you. Slowly wave your leaf back and forth in front of you for 15 seconds.
Allow 2–3 children to respond. They will probably say that it moved the way they wanted it to move.
Holding on to the leaf shows what happens when you stay in control of your anger. You can guide your words and actions when you stay in control. The way the leaf moved was gentle as it fluttered in the breeze created by your movements. When you control your anger, other people’s responses to you are more likely to be gentle and kind.
You can choose to let your anger be in control of your words and actions, or you can control your words and actions. It is your choice.
Let’s learn how we can control our anger and our responses. Today’s Bible verses say that we need to stop fighting and lying. You can fight with your words or your actions. Raise your hand if you have ever been in a fight with someone.
When you say something that is not true, you are lying.
Fighting and lying are bad responses to anger. Take your leaves in your hands. Think of a fight you have had or a lie you have told because you were angry. (Pause for 30 seconds.) Pretend to place that memory onto your leaf. Now, get rid of your fighting and lying! Throw your leaf as hard as you can!
Allow 2–3 children to respond.
When you get rid of bad responses—such as fighting and lying—you make room in your life for good responses. Today’s Bible verses say that we should be kind, tender, and forgiving toward one another. Let’s listen again to these verses.
Get rid of all hard feelings, anger and rage. Stop all fighting and lying.
Don’t have anything to do with any kind of hatred. Be kind and tender to one another. Forgive one another, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done.
Ephesians 4:31–32
Let me tell you a story about responding in a good way to anger. Smile when you hear me say something that shows someone in the story being kind, tender, and forgiving.
Emmanuel was walking down the road when he saw his friend, Sarah. Sarah looked tired. She said she did not sleep well because she heard men fighting near her home all night. Emmanuel patted her on the back and told her it would be okay (smile). Sarah quickly pushed Emmanuel’s hand away from her and started yelling at Emmanuel!
Instead of getting angry at his friend, Emmanuel did something unexpected. He sat down and started praying for Sarah (smile). Emmanuel understood his friend was not really angry at him. She was tired and scared. She did not know how to control her emotions. When he finished praying, Sarah told Emmanuel she was sorry for yelling (smile). Emmanuel forgave Sarah (smile).
Wow! Can you believe Emmanuel? He responded to Sarah with kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness. He did not even become angry!
Let’s go back to our leaves. What do you think might happen if we place kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness onto our leaves? Let’s see. Pick up your leaf once more. Close your eyes and imagine what you can do to be kind, tender, and forgiving towards the people who make you angry. (Pause for 30 seconds.) Pretend to place these thoughts on your leaf. Open your eyes and show me what will happen to your leaf when you do what you thought about.
The children should gently wave their leaves from side to side. They might also do another action with their leaves that demonstrates being gentle and kind.
Great! When you are kind, tender, and forgiving to other people, you can control your anger. Take your leaf with you after class today and remember the kind, tender, and forgiving thoughts you placed on it. The next time you feel angry, remember your leaf and ask God to help you to be kind, tender, and forgiving to the person who is making you angry, or who is angry at you.
Optional: If you are using Student Pages, allow the children to use different–colored crayons. Ask them to choose the colors that represent anger to them.
Everyone find a partner. Every time you feel yourself getting angry, you have a choice to make. Will you deal with your anger in a good way that pleases God? Or will you respond in a bad way that causes you to sin? Talk with your partners about the following questions.
Allow 2 minutes for children to respond to each question. Go around the room and observe the partners sharing. Help keep the children focused on answering each question.
It takes practice to control your angry words and actions! Remember to replace your anger with kind, tender, and forgiving thoughts. Do not be afraid to ask God for help! Our memory verse today reminds us that it is important to control our anger. It says:
Don’t become angry quickly. Anger lives in the hearts of foolish people.
Ecclesiastes 7:9
Do the following actions as you read the memory verse with the children.
Don’t (do not)—Indicate no with your body.
Become angry quickly—Stomp your feet.
Anger—Stomp your feet.
Lives in the hearts—Put the palms of your hands against the middle of your chest.
Of foolish people—Frown and look down.
End class by praying this blessing, based on Ephesians 4:31–32, over the children.
Blessing: May God help you get rid of thoughts of fighting and lying that anger may bring. May He help you replace them with kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness for the person who has made you angry.
Share the worship song for this quarter with your children if possible.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
