During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
My dear brothers and sisters, pay attention to what I say. Everyone should be quick to listen. But they should be slow to speak. They should be slow to get angry. Human anger doesn’t produce the holy life God wants.
James 1:19–20
Self-control has many benefits. When we choose self-control, we often enjoy better relationships. Self-control helps us to make wiser decisions, become better leaders, and even feel better about ourselves. Self-control can also help us to live longer and happier lives! But there is an even more important reason to live a life of self-control: we belong to God. As God’s people, we reflect His image to the world around us. We do not reflect Him well when our lives lack self-control.
Consider an area of your life where you struggle to practice self-control. What do you think might help you use self-control in that situation? Just as human anger does not produce the holy life God wants, neither does human effort. God promises that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit who lives within us as His children. Ask God to help you to practice self-control so that you will reflect more of Him.
Ask the children to share with their families 1 of the ideas they learned to practice self-control. If possible, the family members may practice this skill with their children.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Greet the children as they arrive. Invite them to get into a large circle to play a game.
In a moment, I will sing a song. When I start singing, you will dance to the music. But as soon as the music stops, you must stay still and “freeze” in the position you are in.
Optional: If you have music that you can play during the activity, you can stop and start the music recording instead of singing.
Begin singing for 5–10 seconds. Then stop. Look for all of the children to be still. Then start singing again. If you are able to, sing an entire song by stopping and starting every 5–10 seconds. After the song is over, have the children sit in their usual places.
In our game, you had to control your actions. When the music stopped, your body had to stop too. When the music started, your body started dancing.
We have learned a lot about self-control. How can we show self-control?
Review with the children the ways to choose self-control: in their actions, in their words, and while waiting.
Let’s practice what you have learned to help you to show self-control in your actions and words, and when it is difficult to wait for something.
When you control yourself, you think before you act or speak. You know some bad things that might happen if you choose hurtful words and actions. Hurtful words could lead to an angry friend, and hurtful actions may make it difficult for a family member to trust you. Listen to what the Bible says about controlling your words and actions.
Read this verse directly from your Bible.
Anyone who has knowledge controls their words. Anyone who has understanding is not easily upset.
Proverbs 17:27
Others can see that we are choosing self-control when we are careful with our words and when we are able to control the way we respond to our emotions.
What are some other ways we can choose self-control?
Allow 2–3 children to respond.
Allow 2–3 children to respond.
Others feel happy and safe when we are able to control ourselves. Also, self-control makes it more peaceful for others to spend time with us.
Divide the children into groups of 3.
Let’s talk about some of the ideas you have learned in the last 3 weeks to help you practice self-control in your actions.
Read each idea and then do the action with the children.
Now listen to this situation. With your group, decide which of these ideas would help you to choose self-control in this situation. Think also about why you think that is the best choice.
The Bible tells a true story about King Saul and David. King Saul hated David. Saul was angry because David was a great warrior and he was loved by the Israelites. This made Saul very jealous. So he threatened to kill David. David was forced to run away and hide. Saul and his armies searched for David for a while.
One day, David was hiding in a cave when King Saul came into the cave. David came up behind the king quietly—so quietly that the king did not hear or see him.
What could David do to show self-control in his actions? Remember our tips: taking a deep breath, rubbing our heads, or looking at things in a different way.
David could take a deep breath.
David did not hurt Saul, but he cut off a corner of Saul’s robe! David showed self-control. While he did think about hurting Saul, he did not do it. David felt bad about this. Listen to what he told the men who were with him.
Optional: If possible, show the image from The Action Bible.
Read the verse aloud from your Bible.
He said to his men, “May the Lord keep me from doing a thing like that again to my master. He is the Lord’s anointed king. So I promise that I will never lay my hand on him. The Lord has anointed him.”
1 Samuel 24:6
What did David do to help him show self-control?
Allow 1–2 children to respond.
David wanted to show self-control and do what was right by not hurting Saul. He prayed and asked God for help. David did not allow his men to hurt Saul. When the men were out of the cave, David told Saul he would never hurt him.
Optional: If you are using The Action Bible, allow the children to review this story of David and Saul on pages 294–295.
David chose self-control because he honoured God. You can honour God by choosing self-control, too!
Optional: If you are using the Student Pages, give the children 3 minutes to play the game on their pages. After about 1 minute, give the children the hint that if they watch and wait for the paper to drop in front of their stomachs, it will be easier to catch.
You all did a great job listening to the story! You participated and showed self-control in your actions and words. Before we move on to the next activity, I will give you a moment to move around and talk. When I say, “Go,” you may wiggle your body, talk to a child near you, or both. When I clap 4 times, you will sit down quietly. Ready? Go!
Allow the children to move and talk for about 1 minute. Then clap your hands 4 times. If any or all of the children do not stop the first time, clap your hands 4 times again then sit down.
Sometimes we all struggle with self-control. It is difficult to control our anger, and it is difficult to think about what we say before we say it. It is also difficult to wait when we are very excited or very angry about something. But we can ask God to help us. He gives us self-control when we need it.
Let’s think about how we can ask God to help us choose self-control in our own lives. Think of something you are either excited or angry about. Perhaps your brother did something to make you angry. Or, maybe you are excited because a family member is coming to visit. Whatever you are excited or angry about, let’s take a moment to pray and ask God to help you to choose self-control in this situation.
Pause after each statement.
God promises to help us with self-control. So, even when it is difficult, we can choose self-control when we ask for His help. Our memory verse today reminds us of this.
Read the verse aloud from your Bible.
God gave us his Spirit. And the Spirit doesn’t make us weak and fearful. Instead, the Spirit gives us power and love. He helps us control ourselves.
2 Timothy 1:7
Review the verse and motions 3 times. Then continue:
End class by saying this blessing, based on Proverbs 17:27, over the children.
Blessing: May God give you the knowledge to control your words and the understanding to control your anger. May He fill you with His Spirit so that you can choose self-control.
Lead the children in singing this quarter’s song, if possible.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
