During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
Foolish people let their anger run wild. But wise people keep themselves under control.
Proverbs 29:11
Anger is a strong emotion! It is a powerful emotion that can take control of our thoughts and actions if we allow it to. The Bible issues a caution: “Foolish people let their anger run wild.” Just like a domestic animal let out of its cage, our anger can get away from us if we are not careful. If we are wise, however, we can control our anger and find healthy ways to manage it.
When you are aware of your anger and keep control over it, you resist the devil, who is the father of lies. Do you suppose this makes it easy for the devil to do his work? By managing your anger, you push the devil and all of his intentions away. This may not always be easy, but what better motivation than to know that your efforts to control your anger make you wise and push evil away!
Encourage families to listen to their children as they review the 5 steps to manage anger. This will help the children remember the steps while also serving to teach the whole family about managing anger.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Welcome the children to class by asking them to name one way to recognize anger.
The last time we met, you learned what to do when other people get angry. Today, you will learn what to do when you get angry.
Allow 3–5 children to respond.
There are some things we should do as quickly as possible without thinking about them. There are other things that we should do more slowly as we think before we act. Think about whether you usually become angry quickly or slowly.
For the game, choose a creative movement for your children to do as they move around your space, such as hopping, twirling, or walking backwards.
Let’s play a game! You will move around the teaching space by (creative movement). I will call out some action words. If you should do the action quickly and without thinking about it, move quickly. If you should slow down and think before you do the action, move slowly.
Call out the following in order: “speak, get angry, forgive, and listen.” The children should move quickly for the words “forgive” and “listen.” When they hear “speak” and “get angry,” they should move slowly.
Jump up and sit down where you are! The Bible tells us about what we should do slowly and quickly.
Read this verse directly from your Bible.
My dear brothers and sisters, pay attention to what I say. Everyone should be quick to listen. But they should be slow to speak. They should be slow to get angry.
James 1:19
Allow 2–3 different children to respond to each of the following questions. Do not correct wrong answers. What you want to do now is to hear what the children think. The children will learn the correct answers later in the lesson.
There are certain things we should be quick to do, but getting angry is not one of them.
Raise your hand if you think anger is bad.
Allow 3–5 children to respond.
We often think that anger is a bad, unhealthy thing, and sometimes it is. There are times, though, when anger is a good and healthy thing. Sometimes life hurts. It is right to get angry when someone is being treated badly. It is right to get angry when someone is being hurt. It is right to be angry when people go against God’s ways. Anger is not a bad thing, but what we do because of the anger can be very bad. Let’s read what the Bible says about being slow to get angry.
I am the Lord. I am slow to get angry. I am full of love. I forgive those who sin.
Numbers 14:18a
I will say the Bible verse again. This time, I will pause for you to repeat the words after me. I want you to repeat the words using the same speed I use. You will notice that I will say the sentence, “I am slow to get angry,” very slowly. Say this sentence slowly with me.
Say the Bible verse again to the children. Pause after each phrase so that they can repeat the words back to you. Make sure to slow down when you say the words “I am slow to get angry.” Repeat this activity 2 times.
I am the Lord.
I am slow to get angry.
I am full of love.
I forgive those who sin.
Numbers 14:18a
It is important for us to be slow to get angry. We must decide if what we feel is bad, unhealthy anger or anger that is healthy and right to have. When we said, “I am slow to get angry,” we said the words slowly. We thought about the words more. Anger is something that wants to come out of us quickly. The Bible warns us to slow down and think about what we are doing. Be slow to get angry. God is slow to get angry, and we want to be like Him.
These verses from the Bible tell us more about anger.
Scripture says, “When you are angry, do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
Ephesians 4:26
Anyone who gets angry quickly does foolish things.
Proverbs 14:17a
God did not say that you should never become angry. He did say that we should not let our anger turn into sin. It turns into sin when we do or say things we should not. As the verse from Proverbs says, when we get angry quickly, we often do foolish things.
Tell the children to pretend they have a balloon. Have them place 1 hand directly in front of their mouths to show their balloons are flat. Choose 1 child to share something that makes her angry. All the children who agree that this makes them angry will pretend to blow into their balloons. With each breath, children will move their hands out away from their mouths to show how big their imaginary balloons are. If it would not make them angry, they will just leave their hands where they are. Choose another child to share. All who agree will pretend to blow 1 breath into their balloons. Do this 6–8 times.
Optional: If you have a balloon available, blow a breath of air into the balloon each time a child tells you something that makes him angry. When the activity is over, tie the end of the balloon around a stick.
Some of the things we talked about were small things. When we get angry with every small thing that bothers us, we give up control of our anger and let it get much bigger than it started out to be. That is a good reason to be slow to get angry. You do not want it to grow really big!
Optional: If you are using Student Pages, have the children write or draw the things that make them angry on them.
Allow 1–2 children to respond.
It will eventually pop! It will destroy the balloon. If you let your anger grow and grow, you might explode at someone. If you feel angry for a long time, it is also possible for your anger to change you into someone God did not create you to be. Let’s talk about what you can do to control your anger.
Step 1: Recognize when you are angry. Remember when we learned about anger a few weeks ago?
Children might say: I bite my lip, I make a fist, my face feels hot, my heart beats faster, I grind my teeth, I breathe faster, or something similar.
Step 2: Stop and calm down! This is not easy, because anger is a powerful emotion. Anger can make you want to hurt the person you are angry with. Being angry is not what gets you in trouble. What gets you in trouble is what you say and do when you are angry. Remember, you do not want to act like an animal! Stop before you start shouting. Stop before you hit someone. When you stop, you have time to think about your actions. You should be slow to get angry.
Calm yourself down. We have talked a few times about ways to calm down. You can ask God to help you. You can breathe in and out slowly 3 times. You can choose to count to 10 slowly. You can also walk away from the person. If you need to speak to the person, you can return when you are calm. As you calm down, remind yourself that you do not want anger to control you.
Close your eyes and imagine something with me. You sell sweets for money. Your best friend has just taken the money you earned today. You feel your face get hot as your heart beats faster. How could your friend take your money?
Recognize that I am becoming angry.
Stop and calm down.
Step 3: If possible, try to figure out why you are angry. It is easier to control your response to anger if you know why you are angry. Think about what happened just before you felt angry. Let’s go back to the story we imagined. Your friend stole your money.
If children are unsure about how to answer this question, offer the following suggestions: Maybe you need the money to buy food. Maybe you know your friend will use the money to buy something he does not need or something that could hurt him.
After you have thought about the situation, you can pray to God about what is happening.
Step 4: Pray and tell God about your anger. Tell Him why you are angry, if you know. Ask for His help to stay in control of your anger. Remember, God is slow to get angry. He is also “full of love.” God is slow to anger because He is full of love. If God is full of love and you are created in His image, then you are created to be full of love. Ask God to help you replace anger with love. Let your love be bigger than your anger!
Allow 2–3 children to respond.
You can talk with God about anything in your life. No matter what you are feeling inside, God will listen to you. Once you have talked to Him about your anger, there is one more step.
Step 5: Let go of the anger. You may want to hold on to your anger. If you do, it will hurt your relationship with the person you are angry with. Anger grows and builds up. It will lead to an explosion that causes you to yell, scream, and fight. Let go of it before it gets so big and powerful.
Take a deep breath with me. Breathe in as I count to 10 slowly. 1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10! Okay, let it out! Wow! It was really hard not to breathe out before I counted to 10, right?
Think about taking that big breath as letting anger come into your life. You do not want it there. You need to let go of it. It makes you feel bad. When you let the breath out after holding it in, it feels good to your body. When you let go of your anger, you will feel better. Remember the balloon you blew up with angry thoughts earlier?
Allow 1–2 children to respond. If your children do not know, tell them that it would fly away.
Hold your pretend balloon with me. Ready? Let go! Watch as your balloon flies away from you and becomes flat again. Letting go of your anger will help you to not explode, and it will make you feel better.
Optional: If you used a balloon earlier, demonstrate releasing anger by letting the air out of it.
We must remember to follow these steps to help us control our anger.
Step 1: Recognize that you are angry.
Step 2: Stop and calm down.
Step 3: Think about why you are angry.
Step 4: Talk to God about your anger.
Step 5: Let go of your anger.
Everyone, stand up! Bend 1 arm at your side so your elbow is sticking out. Walk around the room and touch elbows with another child. This child will be your partner.
After 1 minute of children walking around the room to make partners, ask any children who do not have partners to raise their hands. Pair up the remaining children. If needed, create 1 group of 3 children.
Let’s see what you will do the next time you are angry. With your partner, take turns saying what you will do the next time you feel angry. Start with the words “When I get angry, I will.” For example, I might say, “When I get angry, I will talk to God about my anger.” I will give you 2 minutes to talk. Start with “When I get angry, I will.”
As the children are working together, walk around and listen to them. If any pairs are not participating in the activity, help them remember the steps to control anger.
Now, show me with actions what you will do the next time you feel angry. I will give you 5 minutes.
Walk around and observe as the children act out their responses. Encourage those who show the steps to help them control their anger. Help the children who struggle with this activity by reminding them of the example story used in the lesson. Ask them how they could control their anger if their best friend stole their money from them.
Thank you for showing how you will deal with your anger. When you slow down and take the time to think about your anger, you will find that you can control it. Our memory verse tells us that we should not become angry quickly. It says:
Don’t become angry quickly. Anger lives in the hearts of foolish people.
Ecclesiastes 7:9
Do the following actions as you read the memory verse with the children. Repeat them 3 times.
Don’t (do not)—Indicate no with your body.
Become angry quickly—Stomp your feet.
Anger—Stomp your feet.
Lives in the hearts—Put the palms of your hands against the middle of your chest.
Of foolish people—Frown and look down.
Close class by praying this blessing, based on Numbers 14:18a, over the children.
Blessing: May God help you when you are angry. May He help you to slow down and think about your response to anger. May you know His love.
Share the worship song for this quarter with your children if possible.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
