During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
If possible, before class write Ephesians 4:31–32 on a large paper or the board with the lines numbered as seen in the Connecting activity.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Matthew 18:21–22
The Bible does not tell us what Peter was going through when he asked this question. It might be that Peter was running out of patience with someone who had wronged him over and over.
Can you relate to Peter? Do you ever feel as though you cannot handle one more sin committed against you? If your answer to this question is yes, then Jesus’ response to Peter may seem impossible to you. You must not forgive 7 times, but 77—so often that you lose count!
Jesus’ command is impossible—on your own. If you are struggling to let go of your anger and forgive someone, ask the Holy Spirit to help you forgive more times than you can count. With His power you will be able to forgive!
Let the families know that their children will learn in this lesson that God helps us forgive. Encourage them to share with their child about a time someone forgave them or they forgave someone else.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Greet your children warmly as they arrive. Divide the class into 5 groups and number the groups 1–5. Give each group a phrase from Ephesians 4:31–32, which is printed below with the group numbers indicated. If you were able to show the Memory Verse poster or write out the verse before class, point to it now as you read it aloud. If you cannot write it out, say a line and have the group repeat it after you. Do this several times. Assign different voice styles to use each time. For example, have them whisper, shout, or say their phrase very slowly. After going over the verse several times, give each group a chance to recite the whole passage for the rest of the class.
Get rid of all hard feelings, anger and rage. [1]
Stop all fighting and lying. [2]
Put away every form of hatred. [3]
Be kind and tender to one another. [4]
Forgive each other, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done. [5]
Ephesians 4:31–32, NIrV
Gather the children together and call on 2–3 children to answer each question:
This passage tells us steps we must take in order to truly forgive others and treat them the way Jesus treats us. In our last lesson we learned that God knows each person’s sins and loves him anyway. He offers to forgive everybody who asks for forgiveness, including you and me. We learned that Jesus will take the shame, guilt, and hurt we feel because of our wrongdoing and begin to heal our hearts. Today we are going to learn more about forgiveness.
Let’s hear what Jesus taught His disciples about forgiveness. Peter, a disciple and friend of Jesus, asked Him an interesting question.
“How many times should I forgive someone who has done something wrong to me?” he asked. “Seven times?”
Let’s read Jesus’ answer from the Bible.
Read Matthew 18:22 directly from the Bible.
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Matthew 18:22
The Bible does not tell us why Peter asked this question. Do you think Peter was really angry with someone? Someone who kept troubling him more than 7 times? It is normal to feel angry when someone hurts us. Peter probably thought he was being kind to forgive 7 times.
Do you think we could count how many times someone is doing something wrong to us? It is easy to count up to 5 times, but after that we would start to lose track. Maybe that is what Jesus was trying to say. We should not keep a count of how many times someone hurts us but keep forgiving that person every time. Jesus decided to tell Peter a teaching story to help him understand. Let’s hear the story too.
Jesus told the story of a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. There was a servant who owed him 10,000 bags of gold. Since the servant was not able to repay him, the king ordered that he, and his wife, and his children, and all that he owned be sold to repay the debt. That was what people did in those days when someone could not repay a debt.
Let’s read from the Bible to find out how the servant responded.
Read Matthew 18:26–27 directly from your Bible. Otherwise, it is printed here.
The servant fell on his knees before him. “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.” The servant’s master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go.
Matthew 18:26–27
But when that servant went out, he found a fellow servant who owed him 100 silver coins. That is quite a small amount compared to the 10,000 bags of gold that he owed the king, but he did not think about that. He grabbed the man who owed him the money. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded.
His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.” But he refused. Instead, he had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
Let 2–3 children share their thoughts.
Like you, the other servants also felt that he was being very unfair. So they went and told the king everything that had happened.
The king called the servant to him. “You wicked servant!” he said. “I cancelled that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have been kind to your fellow servant, just as I was to you?” The king was angry and had him thrown into jail until he paid back all he owed.
Allow the children to share their ideas.
We have all committed many, many sins against God and need His forgiveness. Remember the verse we learned last week, that because God loves us so much, He is willing to forgive us again and again. He sent Jesus to take our place and suffer the penalty of our sin on the cross. When we accept God’s gift of salvation, He frees us from the debt of our sin. In this way, God is gracious like the king in the story. We can choose to be like the first servant in the story who refused to forgive his fellow servant’s debt even after the king forgave his. Or we can choose to forgive others for what they do to us because God has forgiven us for so many sins.
Allow 2–3 children to share their thoughts.
Jesus wanted Peter and His other disciples to learn that if they wanted God to forgive them, they must also forgive others from their hearts. This message from Jesus is for us too.
Forgiveness is often a process, and it can be hard work. Forgiving someone one time does not mean he will not hurt or mistreat you again. Remember when Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone? Jesus said he was to forgive more times than he can keep track of! We need God’s help for this kind of forgiveness!
Here are 3 things you can do to continue releasing your hurt to God.
1. Every time you feel yourself getting angry or scared or thinking about what happened to you, ask Jesus to take the thoughts away and help you think about God’s love instead.
2. Share your feelings with an adult Christian. That person can listen to your story and help you move ahead in your life.
3. Set little goals for yourself. Say something like this, “With the Holy Spirit’s help, I will not let the memory of the bad things that happened to me keep me from making good choices in my life. So this month, I will ________.” Fill in the blank with a goal you want to work toward, such as working hard to receive a good grade in a subject you thought was too hard or memorizing and reciting Ephesians 4:31–32 (the passage we learned at the start of class).
Quietly raise your hand if you know someone who is unwilling to forgive others. It might be you or someone else. Do not say who it is.
Give children a few moments to raise their hands. After several seconds, ask them to lower their hands.
Without telling us who it is, tell us some ways that person acts and what he or she may be feeling.
Allow several children to share. Encourage them to respect each person’s privacy by not using any specific names as they share.
When we hold on to unforgiveness, it is as if we drink poison and expect the other person to become sick. It hurts us, not them! When we forgive others, we are choosing to trust God with that hurt. Forgiving others can help take away our anger and negative feelings.
Allow the children to share their thoughts.
It is not easy to forgive others, especially if they have hurt you physically or in your heart. People sometimes treat us badly even when we have done nothing to hurt them. Others say things that hurt us even when they have no reason for doing this. Sometimes even people who love us and are close to us do things that make us feel bad. It is hard to understand why they do this. It may help to remember that even Jesus was hurt. People lied about Him and accused Him of doing wrong things. They insulted Him, they mocked Him, and they hit Him, but He still asked God to forgive them.
I want you to picture the face of someone who has hurt you who you need to forgive or are in the process of forgiving. Maybe someone scolded you when you had done nothing wrong. Maybe someone you trusted let you down. Maybe someone beat you or touched you in a wrong way.
You need to understand that sometimes it takes time to fully forgive someone and release to God our negative feelings toward them. Remember that forgiveness is a choice. Your feelings will follow the choice you make. God can help you forgive if you ask Him to do so.
Give the children a few moments to think quietly. Encourage them to be honest with God about where they are in the process of forgiving someone who has hurt them. If they are ready to forgive, they can ask God to help them. If they have already forgiven someone, they can thank God for helping them and for healing their hearts. If they need to ask God for forgiveness, they can do that as well. After a few minutes share the following:
Now reach up and pretend to grab that hurt or anger or wrongdoing, and then throw it far away. Then hold up your arms in freedom, joy, and victory.
Optional Supplies:
Give each child a sheet of paper and some crayons or colored pencils. Have them draw or write about someone who hurt them and whom they have not forgiven. They might also choose to draw a picture of themselves. Assure them that no one will see their papers. This may be very meaningful.
When they are finished drawing or writing, ask them if they want to forgive that person. Invite them to say a silent prayer, asking God to help them forgive. After the prayer, they can cross out or scribble over the person or situation on their paper that they want help to forgive. Then they can crush up their paper and throw it into the trash can. Encourage them with a big smile or gentle pat on the back.
If you are using Student Pages, the children can do this activity on those.
Give the children about a minute to think about their answers. Then have each child turn to someone sitting nearby and tell her which thing he wants to practice this week. If needed, quickly summarize the 3 options again.
Allow 2–3 minutes for the students to share their thoughts. Then gather the children and end your time together by praying this blessing over them:
Blessing: May our forgiving God help you let go of hurt and anger and fill you with His grace, which never runs out and always forgives.
Worship with the children as you sing “Blessed Be Your Name” again, if possible.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
