During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
Before class, think of a time when you were hurt by someone. Be prepared to talk about the experience. Later you will tell your story of releasing the hurt to God as you forgave the offender. Sharing with teens on a personal level will set a mood of trust and openness for the students.
Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.
Micah 7:18
God is the author of forgiveness. There is no one like Him. God delights in showing mercy. Because of this truth, we know that any forgiveness we can give others does not come from ourselves. It comes from God. He is forming our hearts to be like His heart so that we can love and forgive as He does.
Spend a few moments listening to the Holy Spirit. Ask Him to show you the hurt and anger that are keeping your heart from being set free. Now ask God to show you all that He has forgiven you for—and the things you need to confess now. Can you forgive as you have been forgiven? Let God, who shows us the example of true forgiveness, help you to delight in mercy. Ask Him to help you to become an example for your students of one who lives a life filled with His forgiveness and love.
Encourage the students to ask their family members, “Have you ever had something bad that happened to you turn into something good?” They can then share how forgiving others can help to bring peace and joy into their lives.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Welcome the teens to class. Ask if they talked with their families about forgiveness. Allow them to share their stories with you and the class as other students arrive.
Let the students know that today you will continue to learn about forgiveness. Divide your students into 3 groups. Assign 1 of the following questions to each group.
Give the students 3–4 minutes to discuss their answers. Then ask 1 teen from each group to share the answers with the whole group.
Invite the students to stand in a circle. Pick up the large rock and begin to pass it around the circle slowly. Each student should hold the rock as long as possible before passing it to the next person. If some find it easy to hold, ask those students to hold it with just 1 arm straight out in front of them. After the rock has gone all the way around the circle, have the students sit down to talk about this activity.
Now tell your teens about a time when you were hurt by someone. Share as many appropriate details as possible to help the students understand the pain you experienced.
The burden of carrying the pain of not forgiving is like holding a heavy rock. It is a reminder of our pain. It keeps us from living life fully because we are burdened with a heavy load.
Now share how you released that pain to God. Explain that forgiving means that we choose not to carry the heavy burden of our pain anymore.
It is not easy to forgive, but God does not want us to be burdened as we go through life. He wants us to be released to live freely. We can choose to forgive others because God has forgiven us. He has shown us how to forgive—even when it is difficult.
Forgiving does not mean that what happened to you was okay. It does not mean that a wrong was not done to you. It also does not mean that you should place yourself in a harmful situation. Sometimes we forgive someone who has hurt us deeply, but it would not be possible or safe to be in relationship with that person. But when you forgive, it sets your heart free to allow God to begin healing you.
When someone hurts you, it is normal to feel angry, sad, resentful, or bitter. When someone mistreats you, it hurts. In some situations, nothing the other person can do will make the pain go away. But those feelings of anger, hurt, and bitterness can have negative effects on your life. They are like the heavy rock we all held.
You may think that if you forgive someone, it means he will not experience any consequences for what he did. But that is not true. Instead, forgiving means that you choose to trust God to bring justice to the situation. And God will bring justice, even if we never see it or understand it.
When we forgive someone, it does not mean that we allow ourselves to be hurt again. If possible, we need to avoid putting ourselves at risk. It also does not mean that we forget what happened. To forgive someone is a choice we make. It is not easy and it often takes time.
Choosing not to forgive others may cause you to experience some of these physical and emotional problems:
Though anger, pain, and bitterness are not the only causes of these types of problems, holding onto negative emotions affects every part of your life. Listen to this story, and look for ways that a lack of forgiveness affected this young man.
Shema had new shoes! He had never had new shoes before. He had always worn ones that were handed down from someone in the family. His old shoes had holes in the bottom, and they were too small. His new shoes made his feet feel great! Because he did not want to ruin his new shoes, Shema took them off when he went swimming in the river. He left them on the riverbank. But when he came back to put them on again, they were gone.
Shema’s friend Mugisha walked by wearing shoes that looked just like Shema’s new ones. Shema asked Mugisha to give them back, but Mugisha said they were not Shema’s shoes. Shema thought about his shoes all night long. He could not sleep because he was so angry. He woke up in a bad mood.
The next day, he did not meet Mugisha at the tree to walk to school together. During math class, Shema was still thinking about his shoes. He continued to give angry looks to Mugisha instead of doing his math. When the teacher asked him a question, he yawned and gave the wrong answer. The teacher told him he would have to do the math problem again for homework. Now he was even more angry with Mugisha. It was Mugisha’s fault that his feet were hurting in his old shoes. It was Mugisha’s fault that he had to do extra math homework. As they left class, Shema clenched his teeth and frowned at Mugisha. He felt very sad that he no longer had his new shoes.
He experienced sleeplessness, unclear thinking, clenching teeth, and problems in school.
He lost his joy and felt depressed.
Choosing not to forgive can affect the way you feel, the way you think, and the things you do. Not forgiving others often hurts you more than it hurts the person you cannot forgive.
Holding on to anger may prevent you from getting along with others. Bitterness and resentment may keep you from enjoying even your favorite things. The pain that comes from not forgiving others may cause you to look and sound angry all the time. You may lose hope and joy in your life. When we hold on to anger and pain, it can change who we are.
God wants you to experience the kind of peace that only He can bring as you release your hurt and pain to Him. He wants to heal the hurts that are weighing you down, like the heavy rock did. Forgiving others can have positive effects on your life. Forgiveness can:
The first step in forgiving someone is to admit that she mistreated you. You may want to avoid thinking about it. You may be afraid to admit it to yourself because it hurts so much. But you cannot begin to heal until you acknowledge that you were mistreated. You do not have to tell the other person that she hurt you. But you do need to realize that it was wrong for you to have been mistreated.
The psalms in the Old Testament are filled with expressions of pain and hurt. But even in the midst of discouragement, frustration, and anger, the psalmists cried out to God.
Ask a student to read Psalm 34:17–18 aloud from the Bible.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:17–18
Sharing the things that have hurt you with someone else does not make the pain go away. But it will help you begin to heal. You may want to talk with a trusted adult or a friend who gives you good advice. You can always talk to God about your hurts. He knows your pain, and He cares deeply about what happened to you.
When you are ready, you can let go of your hurt. God wants to lift the burden of pain, hurt, anger, and bitterness off of you. He knows that refusing to forgive will continue to weigh you down. Listen to what He said.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
After you read the verse, read it again to your teens. Have the teens turn to the students next to them and recite the verse.
Everyone has been hurt by others at one time or another. This hurt often leaves us in a dark and sad place. Think about a hurt you have. Maybe you feel hurt because you have been abused. Maybe you feel angry because your father left your family. Maybe your pain comes from having a friend lie about you to others. It can be any pain you have experienced, big or small.
It takes courage to forgive. But forgiveness releases your pain and hurt. It allows you to begin to replace the negative emotions with peace and joy.
When you ask for God’s help to forgive, He can heal your heart. He understands what it is like to be hurt. He also knows what it means to forgive. Because God forgave us, we can forgive others who have hurt us.
Hold up the large rock again. Ask the teens to stand in 2 lines about 3 meters apart from each other. Give the rock to the first teen in 1 of the lines. Ask her to carry it to the first student in the other line. He will then carry it to the second student in the other line. The students will carry and pass on the heavy rock until everyone has had a chance to carry it. As they carry the rock, ask them to think again of things they need to forgive—burdens they need to release to God.
Remember the verse we read earlier? Let’s say it together.
Ask the students to repeat Matthew 11:28.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
With God, we can exchange our burdens for rest. He can help you with the negative emotions that are weighing you down like a rock. Forgiving is not a burden. We can become weary from carrying the heavy weight of anger, hurt, and bitterness. God can carry that burden for you.
Remember—forgiving does not erase the wrong that a person did to you. The other person may never know that you have forgiven her. Forgiving does not mean that you have to talk to or have a relationship with the person who hurt you. It does not mean you are giving him permission to continue hurting you. It does mean that you are letting go of your pain and allowing the healing process to begin.
Ask the class to gather around the rock. Ask the students to clench their fists tightly, like rocks hanging by their sides.
We will spend a couple of quiet moments deciding if we are ready to choose to forgive. Our clenched fists are like the rocks of pain and anger that come from not forgiving others.
If you would like to release your burden of hurt, pain, and anger to God, you can pray to Him now. As you do, lift your hands above your head and open them to God as a signal of your choice to release this to Him.
If you are still struggling with your pain or you are still too angry and are not sure you are ready to forgive and release this to God, raise your hands to about chest level and open your hands to say you want to know that peace, even though you are not yet ready. Ask God to help you be ready.
Optional: If you are using the Student Pages, the teens can use their pages to record the things they need to forgive.
Allow the students to respond for 3–4 minutes. Close by saying a blessing based on Ephesians 4:31–32 over the students.
Blessing: May God give you the strength to release your burdens of bitterness, anger, and pain to Him. May He fill you with the courage to forgive as God forgave you through Christ.
Continue to encourage your students to worship with courage as they sing this quarter’s song.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
