During the lesson, the information for you to know is written in regular type, and what we suggest speaking or reading aloud to children is in bold. All resources for this lesson, including the Teacher Guide, Student Page, Family Connection Card, and other resources can be downloaded in a ZIP file by clicking on the following link:
In some lessons you will find "resource articles." These are articles written by experts from around the world to help equip you for your work with children and adolescents. Share them with parents or guardians if you consider it appropriate.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Romans 12:2
Have you ever felt paralyzed by fear? Been consumed with anger? Cried out with self-pity? If you are like most people, your answer is probably yes. God wants to transform your mind so that you do not react in ways that are harmful to you or others. Prayerfully read the list of strategies for dealing well with negative emotions.
Ask the Holy Spirit to show you to 1–2 strategies that might help you deal with strong emotions in a healthy way. Circle those strategies. Ask God to bring these strategies to mind whenever you begin to feel strong, negative emotions. He is able to transform your mind!
Let your children’s families know that the children will learn 10 strategies for dealing with negative emotions. Encourage them to ask the children to tell them about the strategies. Families can add other ideas for how to deal with negative emotions.
Teacher Tip: If possible, email or text the Family Connection Card to the families of your students.
Greet the children by name as they arrive. Ask them what different emotions they felt during the week. Share about your own week and the emotions you experienced.
Have your children spread out in a cleared, open space. They should all be at least an arm’s length away from other children. If you do not have enough space for that, pick 5 children to do this activity while the others cheer for them. Explain that they will spin in place 10 times and then try to walk in a straight line. Give the children time to spin and walk. Then gather the class together.
That was difficult! When you finished spinning, you probably felt like you did not have full control of your body. Negative emotions can also make you feel out of control. Today we will learn more about emotions. We will learn how to deal with difficult feelings in healthy ways. This can help us feel safer and more in control. We can also use them to help others who are hurting. Remember, feelings themselves are not bad or good, right or wrong. We cannot control the feelings we have, but we can always control how we respond to our feelings.
Children might suggest feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, and others.
Before we talk about healthy ways to deal with feelings, let’s talk about unhealthy ways to deal with feelings.
As the children respond, have them tell you why they think these ways of dealing with feelings are not healthy.
These are some unhealthy coping strategies:
Using drugs or alcohol. This only makes the person feel better temporarily. It does not solve his problems. Drugs and alcohol confuse a person’s thinking and feelings and can lead to even more problems, such as addiction.
Ignoring feelings and pretending the feelings are not there. This makes bad feelings grow even stronger and can make a person sick.
Violence or yelling or saying unkind things. These do not solve problems and hurt other people. When people do or say unkind things in anger—even if they do not mean them—they can never take back the hurt that their words caused.
Read the following story about anger:
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. When he was angry, he would say horrible things to his uncle. One day his uncle gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper and said hurtful things, he had to hammer a nail into the fence. The first day the boy hammered 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, he learned to control his anger. He did not yell and scream at his uncle as often. The number of nails he hammered every day became fewer and fewer. He discovered he could control his words and actions when he was angry.
Finally the day came when the boy did not lose his temper even once. He told his uncle about it, and his uncle suggested that now the boy should pull out 1 nail for each day that he was able to control his temper. Weeks passed, and the young boy was finally able to tell his uncle that all the nails were gone.
The uncle took his nephew by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, nephew, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like the scars on this fence. You can put a knife in a
man and draw it out. It will not matter how many times you say you are sorry; the wound is still there.”
The little boy then understood how powerful his angry words were. He asked his uncle to forgive him.
Now let’s look at some strategies for dealing with difficult feelings in a healthy way.
Share these 10 strategies and physically practice some of them with the children. This will increase the likelihood that they will use the strategies in the future.
Optional Supplies: List these 10 steps (the underlined phrases below) on the large paper or the board.
Today we will talk about how to calm down when we have upset feelings or are in difficult situations. When our feelings are very strong or out of control, we have a hard time thinking clearly. Thinking through things helps us avoid doing or saying things that we will regret later. It also helps us find solutions to our problems. Here are some things that we can do to deal with strong negative feelings.
Share and discuss the following Bible verses. Read them directly from your Bible. You may want to paraphrase them to make sure the children understand the difficult words.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6–7
Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:8
If you are using the Memory Verse Poster, show it to the students.
As for me, I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.
Psalm 55:16–17
You may find that you feel better after doing 1 or more of the strategies above. You may not need to do anything more. But there are some feelings, such as grief, that take more time. Doing the exercises will not make grief go away immediately.
Allow your children to share until all 10 are mentioned. Remind them of any they miss: breathe in 3s, squeeze and relax your muscles, count to 10 slowly, daydream, listen to music, exercise, laugh, talk it out, name your feelings, read the Bible and pray.
Optional: If you are using Student Pages, there is space for children to respond to the coping strategies they learned.
Divide children into pairs. Boys should be with boys and girls with girls. Have them share their answers to the following questions with their partners:
Give the children time to share with their partners. Then teach them this simple prayer and have them use it to pray for their partners:
God, please help __________________ (name of partner) respond calmly when she feels __________________ (name of negative emotion). In Jesus’ name, amen.
Close class by praying this blessing over the children:
Blessing: God cares about your feelings. May you cry out to Him when you feel sad,
angry, frustrated, or scared. And may He help you respond to your emotions with calmness and control.
Lead the children in singing this quarter’s song, if possible.
Life on Life ©2020 David C Cook. Reproducible for home or classroom use only. All other uses require written permission from David C Cook [email protected]. All rights reserved.
